Kathy and I Share What It's Like to Loose the One You Love

They Couldn't Come Back As Anything More Amazing Then What They Were. 

Kathy:

I was reading the 1 about your dad. It’s so true about you must move on. That is in a good way. I lost my dad in 06 so I can totally agree with how you feel.

I miss him each day more and more but there is nothing that will bring him back so I need to remember the great times we had together.

Me:

I know I am extremely sorry about your dad. Our fathers would want us to keep them alive by remembering the good memories that we made with them. I still feel like I have been stabbed in the heart and the knife just keeps getting deeper and deeper but, me wallowing in myself pity just makes it so my dad can't rest and I don't want that.

Kathy:

Yes your dad would not want u to dwelling on his death. And either would my dad. Holidays are real hard for me because now I have my daughter and he is not here to enjoy all the great times with her. And your dad is at peace now he is not suffering and that’s all u needed to keep in your head because you know he was suffering.

Me:

I do know he was suffering and that's what eats at me the most because, I can’t tell you how many times I had told him to go to the hospital. Even my brother Chris told him to go when he saw our dad throwing up blood..I have nightmares at night about it, it really messes with my head. But, I am trying all I can to stay sane. I am very grateful to have my Fiancé Sam by my side because without him I don't know where I'd be. I can't even fathom how it feels not to have your dad around to see your beautiful baby girl grow but, I do know that he is always around even if you can't physically see him

Kathy:

Yes I agree about trying to get to the hospital. But my dad was the same way he wanted to die at home so that’s what I let him do. He did not want to be in a hospital. I felt bad for myself for a little while after his death cause of all I witnessed but u know what I would not regret anything.

Me: 
You’re absolutely correct you gave him his wish and you rock for that. Talking to you and you talking to me could also help us cope with our losses because we have both been through the same tragic moment. This conversation just makes me want to continue on writing on my blog so that I can maybe help others as well.

Kathy:

I think men feel as though their pride is gone if they have to be taken care of by someone else. It’s just the way they are. And if they are in a hospital then they can’t do for themselves and they don’t like that.

Me: Yes men do feel that way because I think when they hit a certain age and see that they can no longer care for themselves it brings their ego down reeeal low.

Kathy: I have been going to therapy to be able to manage with my dad’s death. I will always be a DADDYS GIRL:{ I miss him so much but I know I need to think about all the good I had with him for 25 years that I was alive!!!!

Me:

Exactly!! I will always be a DADDYS GIRL TOO!! Our dads’ are in a better place hanging out and looking down on us or maybe on this earth as something different. I believe we all come back as something amazing.

Kathy:

They could not come back any more amazing then what they were. They were great to us while we had then here on earth with us!! I would not have asked for a better father!! And neither could you!

Me:
I believe in reincarnation but, you couldn't of put it into better words they really were amazing and extremely great to us. We can only learn to cope with the loss the pain will never really go away.

Kathy:

There will always be pain for our loss that will never change. There is nothing someone can say or do to take the hurt away that we endure daily with our loss.

Remember the Good Times

Sometimes Life is Rough


Especially when you lose someone very close to you.
Like me for example, I lost my father last year due to stage 4 esophageal cancer. We all knew he was sick...but, the stubborn man wouldn't go to the hospital when his kids said, "Hey your spitting up blood shouldn't that be a sign?" Every where I go, every older male face I see I think it's my dad...even though I know he's gone. I am and always will be 100% daddy's little girl, and same goes for my older sister.


We all suffer when loosing a loved one. Instead of crying on the bathroom floor, or while your trying to go to sleep, just remember the great moments you've had together. Keep their memory alive in a positive way. I know your saying, "Bekka I try and it is so difficult to let go", well that's the thing I am not saying for you to let go or even forget but, to always remember the good times. I have a necklace urn that my sister bought for me, and I wear it all the time. I also added his wedding ring that my mother gave to me.


I miss him every single day and I still just want to pick up the phone and call him but, you know what? That's silly if you think about it..I mean he's not here and I can't call him so why have a pity party for myself? I guess I shouldn't say "pity party" but, that's how I feel. Embrace their death take it as them moving on to something better. I believe in reincarnation how about you?

I love you Daddy more than anything. 
There isn't enough time in the world for me to explain
how much of an impact you have left on my life.
Nothing and NO ONE could ever take your place.