The Dating Game

Anonymous Says:

Hey Bekka, I'm in a relationship right now with someone who I thought was right for me. She's nice, smart, pretty, and has a good head on her shoulders. But I've found recently that we really have nothing in common. Also recently I've fallen head over heals for one of my best friends. My friend is also in a relationship in which they too have nothing in common. But I have no idea if she feels the same way I do about her. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here and I don't know what to do with myself. Anything you can help me out with would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


Well Reader:

First of all I think you should share your feelings with your friend and that doesn't necessarily mean you have to act upon those feelings but, it's good to have all sides before making a decision. If you really have no feelings for the girl your with it's unfair to both you and her to carry on this ruse. If you want to step from this relationship your best bet is to just come out and tell her the truth. Just be honest and the path you are supposed to go will take you there on it's own. I hope that my advice has helped you determine your decision. Thank you for your post.

Unnecessary Flirting

Anonymous Says:
Bekka, I need some advice. My mom has this new boyfriend, and I do not get along with him. He's always in our business and I feel that he flirts with me while my mom isn't looking. I have tried to tell my mom about this situation but, she thinks I am lying. What can I do to make her see the truth?


Well Reader:
I know that it can be rough to see your mom have a new man in her life. I can relate to that. Also, at the same time, your mother’s boyfriend flirting with you is absolutely crossing the line. In my opinion I would call him out. 
While in front of your mom tell her boyfriend the things that make you feel uncomfortable needs to stop. Voice your opinion loudly whenever one of those situations occurs. It's not right and you shouldn't stand for it.

Bitter Sweet

Anonymous Says:
Dear Bekka,
My grandmother has just passed away and in her will she has arranged that all of her money go towards charity. But, the family wants to split it amongst each other. I would like to honor her wishes but, at the same time I would like some extra cash in my pocket...what do you think?


Well Reader,
Since your grandmother had her heart set on giving her hard earned money to a charity, I think it should be honored. While everybody would like some extra cash in their pockets, you should think about how she would feel if you were to do that, and honor her wishes. Also, to add to this you are not allowed to change the will after the family member has already deceased. Your grandmother would only be capable of doing that.

Torn Between A and B

Anonymous Says:

Dear Bekka,

After recently breaking up with the father of my baby, I found two really great guys. One of them is from my past and one is brand new. I'm torn between the two of them, ( we’ll call them A and B ) Currently I am with A.

He's a super sweet, amazing guy and he's got his head in just the right place. 

He has a great job, and definitely a promising future but, he’s not my type and I’m worried that I won't be able to fall in love with him. 

B has been in and out of my life for the past 4 years. He’s exactly my type and he loves me and my son to death. The downfall is, He is a party animal, ( says he will change, just needs a reason to change, meaning me and my son) he has a part time job and no license or car. But I like him a lot, possibly even more than A. How do I figure things out, Please Help!

Well Reader:

The heart wants what the heart wants even though "A" is a better provider if you can't see a future with him there is no point in trying. On the other hand if "B" doesn't straighten himself out, there is no point in fighting a losing battle. 

You will have to cut ties. Remember there are many fish in the sea. 

Your future may not have yet revealed itself don't settle for less. Even though a man says "I need a reason to change," doesn't always mean they will. Protect your heart and your son. Also, I would like to say why did it not work out with "B" all those other times? Exes are exes for a reason. Don't start a vicious cycle that you can't run from.

Size Doesn't Matter

Anonymous Says:
Dear Bekka, I have been dating my girlfriend for awhile now and I think it's
about time I proposed. The only problem is I don't make a lot of money
and I am afraid that the ring I buy her won't measure up to her girlfriends rings
what should I do?


Well Reader,
What you need to do is buy the ring that you can afford and if she really
loves you the size won't matter. What should matter is that you are willing
to take the next step. Being committed to one person is a huge decision
and that's what an engagement ring resembles.

You Can't Always be the Hero

Anonymous Says:
Bekka,
I need some advice on how to help a friend. You see I personally know someone who is in an abusive relationship and every time I tell him/her to leave she/he just does the opposite of what I suggested.


Well Reader,
Sadly some times you can only go so far with helping someone out. I know it can be painful at times, especially when the person is someone you love. What I suggest doing is giving them the same advice you have already given and that's it. Only because, you can't help someone if they don't want to be helped...you understand? I know it's very confusing.


You can't slay the dragon. The only one who can is your friend. They have to realize that the relationship that they are in is not a positive one and they should get out. "You can lead a horse to water but, you can not force it to drink."


Please tell your friend to go to this site and seek some professional help.
http://novabucks.org/

Let the Games Begin!

Anonymous Says:
Dear Bekka,
My boyfriend is addicted to playing video games and plays them often. How can I get him to pay more attention to me instead?


Well Reader,
I myself love playing video games. My fiance also loves them. My advice is try and play with him. Nothing is better then bonding together. If he sees that you are willing to take part into something he is interested in he just might do the same for you.


I wasn't always a gamer girl. 
When I was younger I was more into hanging with girl friends. Video games actually help you get away from the real world. They give you a chance to have a break from reality.

Ups and Downs with Sex

Anonymous Says:
Bekka,
My girlfriend seems to always use sex to get her way. What can I do to stop this from happening?


Well Reader,
This is a common problem for males. Females, I personally feel, sometimes don't know how to express what it is they want. So, it is easier to use sex.
You need to sit down and tell her how you feel about this situation in a calm manner.Explain that sex is something that you share together in a loving way. It should not be used to get their way. 


*Ladies, just let guys know what you want . 
Make things easier, not more frustrating.*

Good Clean Advice

Anonymous Says:
Hello Bekka,
I'm in need of some relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have been living together for about 6 months. I am a bit of a clean freak where he is the total opposite. I don't mind cleaning up after him, it's just that it seems to be constant. Do you have any ideas for me to try?


Well Reader,
I believe that in a relationship everything should be 50/50. Try doing things like a team. If the dishes need to be done you wash and ask him to go around and collect the dirty dishes, or the other way around. Always remember to talk things out never raise your voice at one another when it's not necessary.